God Will Meet You Where You Are

"Any spiritual awakening always starts from a place of fresh surrender to God. And through our surrender, God fills us again with His presence through the power of the Holy Spirit." - Awakening, Weems

This world can bog us down. I have loved my God for as long as I can remember, but I have to admit my "walk" with Him has been sporadic, at best. I have had many moments of spiritual "excitement" in my life, but if I'm honest, and I try to be, I haven't sustained a true spiritual awakening. Weems points out, "We often believe surrender is a one-time decision, but it is a practice we must regularly engage in." There has always been a longing in my heart, an aching, a knowing that there must be something more.
Total surrender... that's the something more. Giving all of myself to Him, so that He can be my All. In the past, I've think I've tried to keep parts of my life for myself so as to not bother God with them. I had my spiritual life, my professional life, my free time... I'd let Him in my family life, of course, but I had really compartmentalized Him: "Here, God, here's your area. Don't worry yourself with this other stuff." How short-sighted of me. What a pathetically tiny perspective I have held. How small I have tried to make God at some points in my life.
I want to live a life of Total Surrender. It's all His now. I have nothing to hide, nothing to hold for myself, nothing that isn't His. I am ready for His Word, ready for His voice, and ready for His direction to tell me where to go. I'm ready to live Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."
So be it, Lord.

Taking Refuge

Psalm 2:12 "...Blessed are all who take refuge in Him."

I'm not good at taking refuge. I'm strong-willed, a "strong woman," a professional... isn't it the weak who need refuge? As I read Psalm 2:1 & 2, I am reminded that I don't always have to be the strong one. Because when I'm honest with myself, there are plenty of times of closeted weakness, sometimes down-on-my-knees weakness, when the whole world seems dark and I cannot help but wonder "why, God?", yet I strive to maintain that image of one-who-has-it-all-together.
The Bible tells me I don't have to put up that facade. David reminds me, in these verses, to "Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling." I am expected to "Kiss the Son... lest [I] be destroyed in [my] way...," to take refuge in my Lord and Savior, and there, in His safe haven, I will be "Blessed." Don't we want blessedness over a false front any day?
I need to stop trying to depend solely upon myself, and I need to start handing more over to God. Where my weakness is, there God's strength will shine.